Really, what’s the point?
What’s the point of writing about being gay? Of describing my own experience, just one among the gazillions of other experiences out there (gay or straight)?
In fact, I’m a day late on my blog post this week because I just kept wondering, “what’s the point??”
And maybe that’s just it… maybe this time the point is that there doesn’t need to be one.
Maybe today my Anatomy of Love post is just here to say that even though I’m a Lesbian, sometimes the whole being gay thing simply isn’t that big a deal to me.
It’s not like my gayness changes intensity from one day to the next. I don’t get up and wonder “is today going to be a gay day or not??”
I’m always gay. I always will be gay. Some days that really matters to me and some days it really doesn’t… because ALL days, ALL days, that’s only one part of the infinitely complex myriad of stuff I call “Me.”
and maybe that’s the point….
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post by Starla J. King
(Note: this entry is the fourth in the “Anatomy of Love” blog series – a personal look at the experience of a Lesbian Mennonite navigating the unpredictable waters of non-traditional faith and love)
Matt Penning said,
December 9, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Love the point of this post. You’re an infinitely complex person. Loving one day at a time in ways that are uniquely you.
It’s hard to just relax and be me sometimes, if I’m always trying to be someone else’s view of me. In the end, it’s so much easier just being me.
Starla J. King said,
December 10, 2009 at 11:31 am
Ah, Matt… so true… so true. No matter what, it really is so much easier just being whoever we are!
Cheryl said,
December 9, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I LOVE this! So true. And love you, not because of or in spite of your being gay. Because you’re *la.
Starla J. King said,
December 10, 2009 at 11:32 am
and Cherylie, I love you because you’re Cherylie…
peg said,
December 10, 2009 at 12:01 am
we write to share a perspective. that we may offer insight, sometimes uniquely ours. a view of the world as we have learned and experienced. none of us can be all things, and we simply can’t know what we don’t. we depend on one another to fill in those gaps.
if our only understanding of the world is through only our two eyes – what a limited view that is. i try to surround myself with those who can enrich my life, who can teach me what i don’t know, and make me a better person.
that’s the point.
Starla J. King said,
December 10, 2009 at 11:36 am
Peg, I love your point… the richness of the idea that “we depend on one another to fill in those gaps.” Your writing does that for me, btw.
Anyone reading this, take a few minutes to soak in the Peg energy at http://blog.pegmulqueen.com/
Patti said,
December 10, 2009 at 2:11 pm
It’s always important for you to describe your experiences here in this forum…whether they be gay experiences or not. That allows those who are not familiar, with you or those that are gay, to gain insight to that which they do not know….and by doing that, perhaps they will no longer be afraid of the unknown. And then, maybe, it just won’t matter.
Starla J. King said,
December 11, 2009 at 11:13 am
“perhaps they will no longer be afraid of the unknown. and then, maybe, it just won’t matter.” You know, p, I think THAT is the point… beautifully stated… thank you!
Mary said,
December 10, 2009 at 3:41 pm
One point is to use your beautiful words to promote understanding among us. There could be no expectations that you will post weekly rather that you will share when YOU feel the urge. By showing some details of your life you allow us to dream of a time when there will be no point in discussing gay. When we can check “married” on the forms, accompany our “spouses” to events, openly speak to our colIeagues about our families. Living in a southern state and having a partner working in the education system are daily reminders that we still must pretend to be other than we are. Your posts are about life and human experiences. I think of you as Ellenesque in that she doesn’t do a gay show, she is gay and does a fun and exciting show.
Starla J. King said,
December 11, 2009 at 11:24 am
“Ellenesque”?!? Mary, I’ll buy you anything you want … I love being “Ellenesque”!!!
Mmmm, I love the idea of allowing ourselves to “dream of a time when there will be no point in discussing gay.” There’s great power in consistent dreams, isn’t there??
You also give a good reminder that we’re still not “there” with GLBTQ equality. It’s easy for me here in Northern VA to get lulled into forgetting not everyone gets to be openly gay and still keep their jobs.
On the other topic… writing on a schedule… we’ve had some great discussions here about that very topic. Take a look at the comments on the Write On post (http://starlajking.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/write-on/). I do think it’s important to give ourselves flexibility to create on an *inspiration* schedule… however, I also find that a calendar schedule stretches me to topics I likely otherwise wouldn’t come up with. Like this one.
I suspect that whole topic deserves another blog post!