Til death do us part…
That phrase is a standard part of many American wedding vows, and I don’t doubt that each person who says it really means it. In concept, at least.
But what if you were literally risking death simply by loving?
Nigeria, Iran, Yemen all have the death penalty for homosexuals. Yes, the death penalty. Uganda has an anti-homosexuality bill proposing life imprisonment or death for homosexual “offenders.”
That reality is unfathomable to me … disturbing. But here’s what really gets me: speculation has it that Americans helped fuel the Ugandan government’s anti-gay fire which resulted in the anti-homosexuality bill. (see this article in today’s NY Times).
As if it’s not enough for us to keep our fear in our own country, we have to go to other countries and spread the message of fear and hate?!?
People, please… no matter what your view of homosexuality is — please don’t spread the hate.
The NY times article says that these American visitors, “homosexuality experts,” discussed how “the gay movement is an evil institution” whose goal is “to defeat the marriage-based society and replace it with a culture of sexual promiscuity.”
NO! That is so NOT what “the gay movement” is about!
It’s not about defeating anyone. It’s not about promiscuity or subversive sexual trysts. It’s not about replacing anything except hate and intolerance.
It’s about Love. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. And again. Until one person then another person, and another… hears it. It’s about Love. Period.
Like one European man said (see article) “It’s not homosexuality that is imported…It’s homophobia.”
I’m begging you… please… don’t allow “til death do us part” be a punishment for love, a literal sentencing to death. Let it be a phrase of joy and Love for *everyone.*
Whatever you do, big or small… please… let it be about Love.
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text and photos by Starla J. King
(Note: this entry is the fifth in the “Anatomy of Love” blog series – a personal look at the experience of a Lesbian Mennonite navigating the unpredictable waters of non-traditional faith and love)
Mary said,
January 4, 2010 at 1:43 pm
“In Germany they first came for the communists and I didn’t speak up because i wasn’t a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionist, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then the came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me – and by that time no one was left to speak up.” Pastor Martin Niemoller
The Pastor didn’t mention homosexuals but they came for the homosexuals too and no one spoke up. Starla, thank you for so eloquently speaking up. I marvel at the restraint you’ve shown in this blog when I suspect your insides are churning (as mine are). The brutality and meanness that our fellow Americans are advocating is unfathomable! Can we insist they are not called “Christians”, their actions surely are not Christ-like, an observation not a judgement.
Starla J. King said,
January 4, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Mary, thank you for sharing that *perfect* quote in your response, that reminder of the importance of speaking up. Especially for those of us who are not risking death by doing so. Maybe by one, two, three, 3,000 of us speaking up we can give others a voice when they can’t risk speaking for themselves.
Yes, my insides are churning…and although you marvel at my restraint I admit this is the least restrained post I’ve written yet. I “raised my voice,” something I don’t do a lot. I do, however, try to stay somewhat restrained because I believe that as soon as raw anger is unleashed in any conversation, that becomes the focus… and we risk closing the space for productive conversation.
Having said that, though, I’m right there with you in wanting to remove the “Christians” label from those who show such concentrated brutality and meannness. My understanding of Christ doesn’t include those actions, thoughts or feelings.
I’m listening to “Someday” by Rob Thomas… (video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6pODq8_FxE)… and although the topic isn’t homosexuality, the words of the chorus strike me as fitting:
“And maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday”
Here’s to living our lives out loud… as much as we each can in our own individual situation.
Rachael said,
January 4, 2010 at 3:35 pm
You inspire me auntie. Just wanted you to be aware of that. I love you!
Starla J. King said,
January 4, 2010 at 6:24 pm
and you inspire *me*, nieceling… really! love you…!
rebecca p cohen said,
January 4, 2010 at 4:32 pm
I love the quote Mary offered. I believe I’ve seen it in my parents’ house. I’m grateful that I grew up in a house with parents who believed in honoring love and never teaching or spreading hate. May we all stay true to love.
Starla J. King said,
January 4, 2010 at 6:26 pm
I too am grateful for your parents, Rebecca — seems your whole family has been steeped in that environment of honoring love.
Yes, may we indeed all stay true to love. Thank you Rebecca for doing your part in your own family!
Patti said,
January 4, 2010 at 5:56 pm
The irony behind these Christians spreading hate is so unbelievable! I will use my voice to let them know that (as the bible tells us to do) that I will pray for them and hope they find their way back to loving people for who they are and not hating that which they WON’T understand.
Starla J. King said,
January 4, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Yeah, that’s the challenge isn’t it, Patti? To get our Truth across that wide ocean of hate. As Rebecca said, may we all indeed stay true to love… perhaps somehow it can dry up some of the hate…
lentigogirl said,
January 4, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Thanks, Starla!
As of this week people in NH can now marry and the US is no longer excluding people with HIV. baby steps…
Starla J. King said,
January 4, 2010 at 6:29 pm
Lentigogirl, good to see you here! Thank you for bringing with you reminders of the glistening gems of hope we *do* have.
NJD said,
January 19, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Did someone press the “blend”" button… or was it “puree”.
My insides… of course.
Starla J. King said,
January 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm
NJD… *exactly* ! Finally, a way to describe that reaction: “pureed insides” … froth… mixture…