I was somewhere around 8 or 10 years old.
I had just taken a shower and was reeling with the realization of how absolutely amazing it is that our skin is waterproof. All those teeny little holes yet we don’t fill up during a shower or drown our cells during a bath.
As I stood there staring at the water drops on my skin, watching the rivulets of water dance over my skin creases and slide effortlessly off, I had a flash of understanding the incredible genius of that “man” I knew as God. This human body — containing all those stringy veins, spaghetti arteries, and gooey yuck organs and internal junk required for life — was wrapped in this brilliant concept: SKIN.
A layer of protection, blocking my tender eyes from the gnarly truth of my squishy, grotesque innards, while also protecting my innards from the harshness of outside elements. All the while stretching and flexing and gently hugging the life within me.
I was floored, my young mind overwhelmed with the awe of a complex creativity so far far FAR beyond what I could even begin to fathom.
I had to tell someone, share this feeling of pure, mystical, enlightened WONDER.
“Mom! Mom,” I said, “isn’t it amazing how God thought to make SKIN for us??? And to make it WATERPROOF??”
I’m sure her dismissive smile and chuckle meant well, but it crumbled my enthusiasm like a skyscraper felled by a wrecking ball.
It wasn’t Mom’s fault (how could she have known?!?), but I still remember that feeling… that utter disappointment of realizing that in that intense inner experience, I was alone. Unable to adequately express the magnitude of that mystical moment. Unable to share the thread of wonder that ties all of us to the Source of all creativity and Divine inspiration.
Maybe that’s why I spend so much time now encouraging people to experience the wonder in their worlds.
For it’s in the depths of wide open wonder that we find each other… and ourselves.
Rebecca P. Cohen said,
January 13, 2012 at 12:48 pm
Mmmmmm….wide open wonder….
Starla J. King said,
January 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm
oh yeah!
kandisnz said,
January 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm
My 4 year old and I were talking the other day about how COOL skin is!! You can write on it and get it wet and dirty and it all just comes right off!! Skin rocks:)
Starla J. King said,
January 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm
Oh, I love this! “Skin Rocks” — I think that’s my new motto.
kandisnz said,
January 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm
PS. I encourage my daughter’s wonder in the world. It is all new to her and SO exciting. Worms, flowers, clouds, trees, cats, cows….everything to her is new! I am honored to have the chance to experience that wonder with her…YES!!!
Starla J. King said,
January 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm
I know you know this already, but what a gift you’re giving this child. Although I wasn’t always encouraged to wonder, I was certainly ALLOWED to, and it built the inner richness I have today.
Worms rock too. Even the creepy ones. So do spiders. But please don’t make me touch them.
Cherylie said,
January 13, 2012 at 6:03 pm
I was just reading the other night (and agreeing, btw) about how that exact age is often the dawning of the idea of aloneness. So though it was painful, your Mom was actually helping you reach an inevitable truth!
Which in no way is meant to detract from the rockin’-ness of skin!
I miss you. What I wouldn’t give to crash your FNWT tonight! Although I’d probably just turn it into FN WHINE TIME!!! Waa. Nothing major, just need a Starla fix!
Starla J. King said,
January 13, 2012 at 6:51 pm
Cherylie! Oh wow… how incredible about the dawning of aloneness! And I love that I can celebrate Mom helping me get to that truth. WHO KNEW?!
Skin really does rock.
We will have you crash our FNWT in spirit tonight. Sending you a huge CLINK along with a virtual starla fix!
Mir said,
January 13, 2012 at 11:28 pm
Clinking my Cab in toast to both Wonder and Autonomy! Go Starla Jane! I reveled in this one! Not only did you recognize your separateness, your alone-ness, but you did it in connection with the concept of *skin* — a miraculous barrier that also symbolizes our connection with others!
Okay, so I had a little too much Cab tonight…
Starla J. King said,
January 14, 2012 at 9:10 am
Mir, some of the best insights come from Cab.
Interesting, until now I hadn’t seen the positive part of recognizing my separateness. Well, how cool is THAT?!
Angel said,
January 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Ohhh Starla. I can just *feel* that wonder.
I’m also betting that you still feel that type of wonder, at least every now & then, to this day…. yes? no?
I love so many of the other comments and considerations here.
At the same time, I want to honor and love that part of you who experienced this because I know that it was crushing in a way.
I still have this type of experience (trying to share such a thing with someone, whether stranger, friend/family member, etc…), and when they don’t get it in the way that I *feel* it… I just kind of internally hang my head a bit. It’s disappointing to be sure.
I do so adore these topics…. thanks for sharing them/you.
<3
Starla J. King said,
January 23, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Ah, Angel… hi dear.
Yes, I DO still feel that wonder… often… and try to intentionally put myself in situations that can invoke that wonder.
Ok, so I got a little teary inside at your acknowledgement of the crush of this experience. Thank you for that.
Yes, yes, this still happens to us even now as grownups, doesn’t it? And that little kid feels the crush again. Yeah, I get it, Angel. And also encourage you (and me) to keep feeling and EXPRESSING our wonder.
xo!