There was a shooting outside our apartment building this morning — one man injured, another dead.
Reading that, you’ll probably picture a particularly crime-ripe area of a city, but nope, not so — it’s a high rent guarded building, just across from the pool club, bordering a gorgeous plaza of sweet little shops and restaurants … complete with gardens and a water feature. Feels almost like cheating, to live in this little oasis, seemingly protected from the darker side of more “real” parts of the city.
I should probably also mention that a drug-related double-murder shooting happened in the lobby of this building 3 years ago.
I feel like I should be more freaked out by this. Should want to bolt right out of the city back to my safe white picket fence (yes, we had one) suburban life. But you know, the guy they arrested there for plotting to blow up a DC metro station lived just a block over from us.
It’s not necessarily safe anywhere.
So we have a choice – indulge the fear or live the Love.
Indulge the fear and live a downsized, restricted, fear-riddled “life” or honor the fear by naming and acknowledging it, then live Love.
This morning at the coffee shop, after hearing the disturbing events of the night, the barista says “Where’s Batman? We need Batman!” And in walks the dishwasher wearing a Batman tshirt. ’Nuff said.
“If you exist in a feeling of love — if you can find it in everything you do, transmit it through your touch, through your words, eyes and feelings — you can cancel out with one act of love thousands of acts of a lower nature.” ~ Sanaya Roman (from “Living With Joy“)
Fear is strong. Love is stronger.
Which do you choose?
ansullivan said,
June 11, 2012 at 10:28 am
this is something i struggle with constantly. especially as it relates to the kids.
thanks for sharing your experience and how you’re choosing to react… and more importantly, act…
<3
Starla J. King said,
June 11, 2012 at 11:05 am
(odd, my first reply seems to have disappeared into the interwebs. Let’s try this again).
A — I can imagine that the kids thing makes the whole safety thing (and potential fear) a big huge major deal!
I do get that there is very real danger in this world, so I set up some basic protection mechanisms: high awareness of my surroundings at all times, don’t walk alone in areas that creep me out, exude confidence and butchness (
ha!), shake up my routines, etc.
And then I spend the rest of the time strengthening my cloak of Love.
I think you need a Batman tshirt.
AreWeOk said,
June 11, 2012 at 10:43 am
Starla ~ I’m so sorry to hear about this, or any violence. I just wanted to say that ultimately I do see you moving back to somewhere with a picket fence. Although creeper dude was living a block away, that’s more of an aberration than than the norm in Mayberry USA. But more than that, I always saw you being a part of the garden and nature rather than having to find beauty in a weed in the concrete jungle (previous post). Although this is none of my business, I’ve been thinking about writing this for awhile, and today’s post compelled me to do so. My best to you always.
~Areweok
Starla J. King said,
June 11, 2012 at 11:00 am
Areweok, thank you for speaking up over there!
A few other people in my life have also always seen me as being part of the greenery of life and I think are still a bit baffled by our move to the city.
You know, it’s been so interesting for me to notice my reaction to urban life… and to realize how absolutely much I’m loving it. I think there’s something meaningful for me about in the contrast of buildings and nature, the messiness of life, the non-homogeneity here. You may have already read this, but just in case: http://outwriteliving.com/real-beauty/
I suspect I’ll one day end up using my nature skills and love to enhance some area of the city (starting with our new backyard and front stoop area!). It feels like there’s something life-giving I can offer here.
Oh… and it might be helpful to know that a vacation home at the beach is on our wish/plan list.
Here’s to life’s twists and turns… we’ll see where we end up over the years.
best back to you!
sj
Tina Burkholder said,
June 19, 2012 at 5:48 am
Beautifully put Starla! I find that rubbing against the very rough painful edges is fodder for insight and growth and for delight! From one green urban girl to another!
Starla J. King said,
June 19, 2012 at 10:54 am
it’s really an interesting phenomenon, isn’t it, Tina?
Mir said,
June 11, 2012 at 11:34 am
My therapist, whom I’m very lucky to know, does trainings that deal with, among other things, how the way we deal with fear affects our bodies. He has spent some serious time and energy studying resiliency, trauma, secondary trauma, and compassion fatigue and he conducts “compassion fatigue prevention” workshops for people who provide services to those with great need. According to him, our generation is actually the safest in the history of the world, yet also the most fearful.
I am learning. That’s all I can say. But I do believe that perfect love dispels fear. Fear cannot abide with any power in the presence of Love.
Wonderful topic. Deliciously put out there. Thank you, StarlAmazing.
MirHere
Starla J. King said,
June 11, 2012 at 12:44 pm
MirThere,
yes “compassion fatigue prevention” is such a fascinating and oh so necessary area of study!! How interesting that we’re safest yet most fearful generation yet… (has to do with 9/11??).
Have you read “Emmanuel’s Book II: The Choice for Love”? I bet you’d love it: http://www.amazon.com/Emmanuels-Book-II-Choice-Love/dp/0553347500 . It’s such a simple and profound book, and so beautifully looks at fear vs. love.
Here’s to building love. Even amidst fear.
love you!
StarHere
Cheryl said,
June 11, 2012 at 11:49 am
I LOVE the batman story! We do NOT need batman; we all need to BE batman for ourselves and the people around us. Or batgirl.
Starla J. King said,
June 11, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Cherylie, I know, isn’t that Batman story just the best?!?! And even better, as I was typing out that Batman story, that same guy walked past my table in his wonderful Batman shirt. ahhhh.
I love the idea of BEING Batman/Batgirl!!! YES!
I hope you have Batpeople around you these days as you regain strength. xo
sj