September 14, 2012 at 10:30 am (Anatomy of Love, GLBTQ, Relationship, Uncategorized)
Tags: authenticity, gay marriage, GLBTQ
My life partner and I celebrated our 16 year anniversary this week.
And 2 days later I still had to mark the “single” box on my jury duty intake form.
No, we didn’t break up (ohthankGod!). It’s just that I was sworn to honesty, sitting in that court of law filling out my form … and legally I am not married. Nor divorced. Nor separated. So that left only one option: “single.”
Honestly, for the most part I don’t think that much about the fact that I’m not able to legally marry my partner… because I still call and consider her my wife.
But yesterday when I had to check “single” the tears welled up.
Not so much at the unfairness (in my opinion) of it all, but even more about feeling like I was being forced to NOT honor the truth of our relationship. Like when I was first coming out and still hid behind the phrase “my friend Sandy” then “my roommate Sandy.” Yes, she was and is both of those, but good lord, she is so much MORE.
(On the other hand, it is kinda funny to use the “code” with other gay folks, asking “wait… are they roommates or ‘quote roommates’???” )
There’s another side to this, though. Yes, we still have a long way to go with GLBTQ equality, and yes, it totally sucks that if it would ever (please god no) come down to any legal battles around decision-making rights for each other, our “marriage” would be diminished to a mere set of quotation marks… what doesn’t suck is that for the most part I have the freedom to live a looks-and-feels-like-married life with my partner.
Enough so that when I have to mark “single” on those @}#*^! forms my heart breaks a little. For myself… and for others who — in any situation, for any reason — are not given the option to publicly claim who they really are.
May we all today… and every day… be touched by and grateful for those who know exactly who we are and allow us to publicly own that.
July 28, 2011 at 12:20 pm (Anatomy of Love, Uncategorized)
Tags: gay marriage, GLBT, love, NY gay weddings
* (Photo credit below)
Today’s blog post is short on words, because the photos speak for themselves… more volumes than I could ever put into words.
Love does not wish to be defined,
or squished into the limits of language,
or boxed in by labels, theories, or judgments.
Love. Just. IS.
Please take a few moments to see, really see — through the lens of LOVE, the portraits of these gay couples just after they were LEGALLY married in New York:
… and remember: Love. Just. IS. pass it on.
*photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/greenelent/5970995337
Anatomy of Love Series (a personal look at the experience of a Lesbian Mennonite navigating the unpredictable waters of non-traditional faith and love):
Do Ask, Do Tell
March 2, 2010 at 9:26 pm (Anatomy of Love, Relationship, Uncategorized)
Tags: gay marriage, GLBT, homosexuality, human rights, relationships
Sometimes all we really want is just to be able to hold hands.
On September 11, 1999, Provincetown Massachusetts, my partner (Sandy) and I had a private commitment ceremony on the beach at sunset. We exchanged vows, we cried, we laughed, we kissed.
Afterwards, walking back into town, we reached to hold hands… and realized we didn’t know how. Who holds, who is held? Fingers intertwined or no? Who’s front, who’s back?
Three years into our relationship and we hadn’t walked hand-in-hand in public.
We exchanged vows. We committed to each other for life. For better or for worse. And we still didn’t know how to hold hands.
Yes, we want marriage equality, other sorts of equality. Yes, we want great political and religious shifts that go beyond tolerance all the way to affirmation.
But you know, sometimes all we really want is just to be able to hold hands.
(photo by Patti Burke)
(Note: this entry is part of the “Anatomy of Love” blog series – a personal look at the experience and views of a Lesbian Mennonite navigating the unpredictable waters of non-traditional faith and love.)
January 19, 2010 at 11:52 am (Anatomy of Love, Relationship)
Tags: gay marriage, Hafiz, heaven, love, marriage
It Happens All the Time in Heaven*
It happens all the time in heaven,
And some day
It will begin to happen
Again on earth –
That men and women who are married,
And men and men who are
And women and women
Who give each other
Often will get down on their knees
And while so tenderly
Holding their lover’s hand,
With tears in their eyes,
Will sincerely speak, saying,
How can I be more loving to you;
How can I be more
It happens all the time in heaven, so why are we so afraid to let it happen here on earth?
*poem by Hafiz, beloved Persian poet (1320-1389). Poem from The Subject Tonight is Love, translation by Daniel Ladinsky.
photos by Starla J. King
(Note: this entry is the sixth in the “Anatomy of Love” blog series – a personal look at the experience and views of a Lesbian Mennonite navigating the unpredictable waters of non-traditional faith and love)