The Guidance is always there … if you’re just willing to notice it and give it meaning.
I’ve been working on my fear of energetic depletion — focusing instead on the idea of not holding back, of trusting my capacity to refill and recover. It’s an insidious side-effect, I believe, of having several times experienced the state of almost-nothingness we call Depression. What if *this* time my reserves aren’t enough? What if near the bottom of my energy tank that life-sucking depressive inertia is waiting?
On some days it just ’bout scares the pants off me.
I’m noticing, however, that stronger than the fear is my curiosity — and determination — to know what I can really do if I commit fully to each moment and to each plan and to each goal I make.
I’m not a driven person (stop laughing, you who know me well!). But I’m discovering that I do have a drive — a deep desire to somehow help others (and myself) get more and more and more in touch with their innate Possibilities… to learn everything I possibly can about Creativity and how it ties in with every positive and life-affirming step we take (and don’t take)…. to make the concept of spirituality palatable again (and oh so accessible) to those whose spirit fires may have been doused in the past.
Oh yes, I have that drive… and I SO don’t want to live half-a**ed.
But how can I know that “giving my all” won’t toss me into that paralyzing void of Depression?
I can’t.
I somehow just have to believe.
Looking for Guidance in the bottom of my coffee glass
Like this morning at the coffee shop, when my new buddy Eugene showed up and outta the blue started telling me about his weekend adventure — a grueling physical challenge led by special services military guys.
And about how it takes everything you can possibly find within you to complete this thing… and you realize time and time again how you still somehow have enough left to keep going.
And then the kicker:
“I don’t want to live a mediocre life,” he says with his eyes fiery and goosebumps on his arms (he pointed them out to me). “I want to give it my all.”
Um, ok Universe. I’m listening.
Yes, the Guidance is always there … if you’re just willing to notice it and give it meaning.
What are your doubt spots today? What evidence can you find around you — right here, right now — that suggests you CAN do that thing… you CAN have that something-or-another… you CAN be, feel, experience, [you name it] that thing you’re just beginning to believe?
The Guidance is always there … if you’re just willing to notice it and give it meaning.
[and just before hitting "publish" on this post? In comes an email from Marci Shimoff, entitled "Run towards what you're afraid of." Ok. oKAY!]
